1. Donkey Kong 64
Donkey Kong 64 arrived in 1999 on the Nintendo 64 and like almost every game that came along on the first wave of 3D action platformers it hasn’t aged all that well.
Despite standing as a vital stepping stone for video games that had been and those still yet to be, as well as setting the stage for loads of fond childhood memories, the N64 was an awkward proving grounds for not only how to make 3D controls work, but also who games should be for. Donkey Kong 64 is certainly one of the games of its era designed with kids in mind, so that rosy memory you’ve got of it being hilarious, exciting, and pretty much the best thing ever that was in no way dragged down by a repetitive collectathon, might be a touch swayed by your nostalgia.
It’s not that Donkey Kong 64, or Super Mario 64 for that matter, did anything wrong, it’s just that platformers have come so far you’re better off picking up one of the newer games featuring your Nintendo mascot of choice which are all equally fantastic. And have controls made within this century. So win, win.
All that said, you definitely didn’t overhype your memory of the DK Rap. That still slaps and you should go listen to it right now. Thank me later.
2. Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
If you were late to the party with the Uncharted series starring charming rogue Nathan Drake and all his action adventure antics, do yourself a favour and don’t go back to the very beginning.
I say that because that’s what I did and while Uncharted made serious waves back in 2007 soon after the PS3 arrived, as the generations passed it’s now mostly ripples. Tom Holland and ripples.
The phenomenal story-forward action shooter from Naughty Dog sold like hotcakes but largely due to the medium’s reliance on interactivity and technology, not to mention how quickly it grows and changes, it just ain’t what it used to be. Just like the many of the games on this list, none of it takes away from what a landmark title this was, but on a replay or first time playthrough these days you’ll probably find yourself struggling with the yet-to-be-refined controls and exasperated with the repetitive waves of enemies and samey combat arenas. It’s really only in retrospect that you’ll notice the game’s shortcomings even in the face of its stellar story and cast.
It’s not Uncharted’s fault that technology moves so quickly, but Naughty Dog was struggling with the growing pains of how players should best navigate its world, as well as grappling with platforming and combat which it sometimes nails and often doesn’t.
This is best represented by Uncharted 2 which is essentially better than its predecessor in every way. If you want to check it out in remake form you certainly can, but if you feel worn out a few hours in and want to throw in the towel, I won’t tell anybody.
3. GoldenEye 007
I promise I’m not putting games on this list to hurt you, I’m trying to protect you, and on that, if you haven’t tried to go back and play Rare’s 1997 shooter GoldenEye lately, I recommend you go ahead and keep it that way.
While GoldenEye 007 was celebrated for offering up a cutting edge gaming experience with, and I have to quote, detailed environments, outstanding graphics, realistic animations, and deeply intuitive controls, all of those things were true in 1997 and perhaps even through to the end of the Nintendo 64 lifecycle but by then games had moved on and by now we’ve moved so far on that unless you picked this one up again with expectations properly couched in this being a product of its time, you’d be hard pressed to enjoy it.
Worse still, if you’ve never picked it up and decide now is finally the time, there are probably better ways to spend your time.
Anyone with experience in modern games will likely find the controls frustratingly dated and, without mods, clunky at best and dare I say literally unplayable at worst. It’s a shame to say it, but even though the game has been rereleased for new consoles, it hasn’t been remade or remastered. Nostalgic? Absolutely. But worth your hard earned dollars? Probably not. If you remember this one being flawless, you’re better off letting it stay that way.
4. Far Cry 3
Another absolute classic that just doesn’t quite hit the same any more thanks in large part to the simple facts of time, technology, and the natural progression of both console generations and its very own franchise, is Far Cry 3.
Launching in 2012, Far Cry 3 took a hard left after Far Cry 2 which, despite being critically acclaimed for its world design and the freedom it offered players, had some things players didn’t enjoy like the malaria mechanic, the wonky AI, and the malaria mechanic.
Aside from deciding not to make the final boss of the game trying not to get malaria, Far Cry 3 changed things up by pulling the focus over to its engrossing story, larger-than-life villains, consistently bombastic and freeform combat engagements, rich narrative, and deep world-building.
Also radio towers. Climb big tower, unlock more stuff in the area and repeat. Honestly, back in Far Cry 3 it wasn’t so bad. While Assassin’s Creed had the mechanic established, it was kind of cool to see it in a modern game.
And then Far Cry 4 used them and Watch Dogs used them and basically every AC game after that. Not only that but the Far Cry series continued to swap out bad dudes and locations but otherwise kept much of the format the same so the Far Cry games of today structurally aren’t too different to Far Cry 3 from 2012. In essence, you’ll likely either find yourself tired of the game’s tropes that are now well and truly overused, or you’d be better off finding a later iteration of what Far Cry nailed in its own series, or those that have been inspired by it.
5. The Sims
The Sims may be one of the most influential and iconic games to ever spawn out of the medium and has met with consistent critical and commercial success in the years since, but that doesn’t mean that you should play it as an adult. Not the first game, anyway.
While there’s nothing wrong with whiling away the hours in a digital life simulation where you get to do things you’d never be able to experience in the real world like get married after a single date or own a home, the first release is looking a little worse for wear 24 years on, and that’s us being generous.
There are a handful of games on this list including this one that were once absolute must-plays, but now we’ve moved on so far technologically and creatively as an industry that while the titles will always hold their famed spot in gaming history, they’re pretty unfulfilling to return to.
In this case, the graphics are tricky to stomach, the systems are yet to be refined, and most of the mechanics will have you daydreaming about the game’s sequels that iterated on the most dated features and invented whole new ones which drastically improve your experience in playing the game.
While it’s probably a fair statement that everyone should give The Sims a go at least once in their lifetime, there’s really no need to go all the way back to the beginning. You can just Google the Goth family timeline on YouTube and then you’re pretty much all caught up.
6. LEGO Studios Backlot
I could have given this slot to the certainly critically superior and more popular open-world game Lego Island but I’ve gone ahead and put the spotlight on Lego Studios Backlot instead because that’s the game I tried to go back to this year and realised sometimes you can’t go home again.
The 2001 adventure platformer put you in the little brick shoes of a newbie quickly put to work at Lego Studios and given a variety of tasks.
In retrospect, this bitesize chunk of nostalgia is riddled with all the adventure of helping Johnny Thunder find his gear and standing in as a stuntman wherein you have to shoot yourself out of a cannon. In reality, as soon as you’re told to use the ‘Z’ key to run and ‘Control’ to talk, that should have been the sign that this one was better left in your memory.
As one of the healthy handful of browser-based games that dominated the years of those who grew up in the 90s and early 2000s, Lego Backlot Studios is a prime example of a game that, should you play it as an adult, you’ll quickly realise is much worse than you remember it being.
Ignorance is bliss on this one.
7. Kingdom Hearts
Moving on from an entry that wouldn’t have too many of you clutching your pearls to one that I think might rock a few boats, if you’ll forgive me mixing metaphors, Kingdom Hearts is a tricky one when it comes to its subject matter.
Beloved by many but, let’s face it, kind of overly complicated, plot-hole ridden, and narratively disjointed, Kingdom Hearts the first might be a game that’s better left in your childhood where those things are more easily forgiven.
The Disney cameos, saturated cartoon world, and wild series of events are a total treat when you’re young, but now we’ve come to expect more from our games and it’s tough for even the most diehard of fans to see past the naivety.
If you can see past it and you have fond memories of Square’s 2002 JRPG, you might be able to get back in that headspace where a little silliness is forgivable, but I’d caution anyone with a mind to try out Kingdom Hearts in 2024.
There’s certainly a charm to the game world and Sora’s journey that dazzled players a couple of decades ago but even with the relatively well-received 2012 HD remaster, Kingdom Hearts 3 with its deeply confusing narrative seemed to suggest the series is showing its age.
At least Kingdom Hearts has the chance to evolve and grow with its audience if Square Enix so chooses, which is more than I can say for my next entry.
8. Shadow Of The Colossus
Put down your pitchforks, I’m not about to tell you that Shadow of the Colossus wasn’t good when you were younger and I’m not about to tell you that it isn’t good now. I am, however, going to tell you that you better not play 2005’s Shadow of the Colossus. I mean, you can, but don’t. I’ll tell you why.
Loads of people played Shadow of the Colossus on or around the year 2005 when it first came out. In a year where you found yourself going to the movies to see Revenge of the Sith, being glad you didn’t go to the movies to see Fantastic Four, and musing at the words ‘sexting’ and ‘glamping’ being added to the dictionary, perhaps you found yourself delving into this action-adventure masterwork by Japan Studio and Team Ico.
If you did check this out way back then or at any point up until 2018, really, then I have no qualm with you. If, however, you picked this bad boy up after 2018 then you done goofed.
That’s because in 2018 the absolutely phenomenal Bluepoint Games remake came out and it surpasses the original in every way. That is to say, it takes everything fantastic about the original and keeps all those elements central and sacred while elevating the graphics, tightening the controls, upscaling the resolution, and pocketing a decent handful of 10/10s from publications and players alike.
Basically I’m saying, you shouldn’t play Shadow of the Colossus as an adult but you should absolutely play Shadow of the Colossus. Make sense? Alright, cool.
