If being single were an illegal drug, I’d still do it. I crave the high—the freedom of having no weekend plans, the joy of picking massive wedgies at my leisure, and the luxury of not shaving while having profound shower thoughts about apocalyptic young adult novels. Sure, there are some magical healthy unicorn relationships where you can still do these things, but they take months, even years, to achieve. LIFE HACK: Just stay single. I’m not against the idea of finding a partner someday, but there are undeniable perks to being single that make me in no rush to couple up. I believe that one day I’ll find someone and spend my life with them, and when that happens, I’ll be happy knowing I lived my single life to the fullest. Right now, as a selfish twenty-something who values Netflix more than most relationships, I’m riding this wave as long as I can. Here are just some reasons why people who are content being single are happier than everyone else:
- Nobody is ever going to take our Nutella
- Peace of mind knowing our snacks are safe is priceless.
- The crumbs in our bed are tiny trophies of a life well-lived
- Eating dinner in bed, reclined at a 45-degree angle, is a joy we don’t have to justify or clean up for anyone else.
- Our granny panties are bae
- I even wrote a song about mine. I (almost) wish I was kidding.
- Tinder fails are not a life sentence
- When you’re not looking for someone, dating app misadventures are just funny stories or chances to learn new things, like playing chess.
- We can flirt with pretty much anything that breathes
- Flirting with attractive strangers is rewarding and worry-free when you’re single. The world is your flirting oyster.
- Our opinion is the only opinion that matters to us
- Being single allows for complete selfishness without judgment. I choose the movies, get wine drunk on Saturday afternoons, and don’t have to pretend to be interested in someone else’s hobbies.
- Freedom from social obligations
- No need to attend events or meet people out of obligation. Our time is entirely our own.
- Uninterrupted personal space
- Enjoying our own company without having to share physical or emotional space.
- Financial independence
- Spending money on what we want, without considering a partner’s preferences.
- Spontaneous lifestyle
- The ability to make last-minute plans without coordinating with anyone else.
- Personal growth and self-discovery
- Focusing on our own interests and goals without compromise.
- Strong friendships
- Deepening bonds with friends, who often take center stage in a single person’s life.
- No relationship drama
- Living free from the stress and emotional turmoil that can come with relationships.
- Self-sufficiency
- Building confidence and resilience by relying solely on ourselves.
Face it—there are just so many reasons why people who are satisfied with being single are happier than everyone else.
