The Problem:

Unrealistic beauty standards negatively impact women’s self-esteem and mental health. This issue is perpetuated not just by media but also by societal expectations, with some men unknowingly contributing to it.

As someone who dates full-figured women, I believe I have a unique perspective on why society’s attitude toward body types is problematic. Both men and women can harbor harmful views about body image without realizing the damage they cause. Growing up, I didn’t develop a dislike for bigger women. I attended a performing arts high school in San Diego, where talent and charisma were more valued than society’s narrow beauty standards. One of the most popular girls in my grade was short and plump, yet she was admired for her musical skills and charm.

This environment taught me to prioritize personality over body type. While I did date skinny women, it wasn’t because of their size. This attitude was common among my peers. However, college exposed me to a different mindset. Many guys had rigid views on attractiveness, often dismissing plus-size women as inferior. They made derogatory comments and treated “fat” women as unworthy of serious relationships, only considering them for drunken one-night stands.

I resisted this toxic mindset but subconsciously started dating skinnier women more often, recognizing the social validation it brought. By my junior year, therapy helped me refocus on what truly mattered: pursuing women I found attractive and who made me happy, regardless of their size.

A Different Perspective:

My personal experiences dating women of all sizes opened my eyes to the societal bias against plus-size women. While growing up in a supportive environment, college exposed me to a culture that valued looks over personality. Witnessing this negative behavior and succumbing to it for a while made me realize the need for change.

The Need for Change:

We, as men, can be powerful allies in promoting body positivity. Here’s how:

• Challenge Our Own Biases: Reflect on your own views on attractiveness. Are they influenced by societal pressures?
• Celebrate Diversity: Actively appreciate women of all body types. Compliment them on their talents and personalities.
• Shift the Focus: Engage with women in meaningful conversations that go beyond physical appearance.

The Impact:

By challenging these norms and treating women with respect regardless of size, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment. This, in turn, can empower women to embrace their bodies and value themselves for who they are.

Additional Points:

• Consider removing the personal anecdote about therapy. It can be reframed as a general call to action for men to support women.
• The information from therapists can be woven into the text to highlight the impact of unrealistic beauty standards.