Let’s be honest: the initial frenzy of daily sex often fades in long-term relationships (LTRs). So, are you having enough sex in your LTR? Laurie Watson, a licensed couple’s therapist, certified sex therapist, and author of Wanting Sex Again, says it depends. She explains that it’s normal for the intense sex drive at the beginning of a relationship to taper off, which is actually a positive development. This shift means that partners are returning to their individual routines, spending more time with friends, and engaging in activities that are harder to maintain during the early, whirlwind phase of a relationship. Interestingly, committed partners generally have more sex overall, according to Watson, who also writes for Psychology Today’s Married and Still Doing It blog. Over time, people in LTRs end up having more sex annually compared to their single counterparts, due to the stability and continuity of their relationships. Here are 10 key points about sex in an LTR:

1. Less Sex is OK “When we are falling in love, we can’t fall out of bed,” says Watson. But as time goes on, it’s natural to feel the need to get things done. The initial infatuation fades, making way for a more balanced lifestyle. Scheduling self-care activities, like a girl’s brunch or a night with a book, strengthens both the relationship and self-esteem. Less sex after the initial phase is a sign of a healthy LTR — as long as you’re still having sex.
2. Just Do It Not everyone is always in the mood for sex, and that’s okay. However, sometimes initiating sex can lead to increased desire. “Many women feel little physiological ‘hunger’ for sex at the beginning of an encounter,” says Watson. But once stimulated, desire often kicks in. Don’t wait until you’re desperate for sex; initiating it can lead to a satisfying experience.
3. People in LTRs Have More Sex than Singles “It’s normal to think everyone else is getting more than you,” Watson notes. But in reality, people in LTRs generally have more sex because they have a consistent partner. The stability of an LTR leads to regular sexual activity over time.
4. Great Sex Requires Communication Good sex in a relationship doesn’t just happen; it requires communication and effort. “Erotic connection is an enormously important, complex part of our life,” says Watson. Discussing desires and boundaries is crucial for a fulfilling sex life.
5. A Good Rule of Thumb: Sex at Least Twice a Week Having sex at least twice a week can enhance desire and improve mood. “Two orgasms per week result in an increase of desire for women,” says Watson. Regular sex helps maintain a healthy libido and strengthens the relationship.
6. You’ll Develop Your Own Sex Vernacular Long-term partners often develop a sexual shorthand. “They know what a look or touch means,” Watson says. This familiarity and confidence grow over time, enhancing the sexual experience.
7. Women Have Better Orgasms in an LTR With time, partners learn each other’s bodies, leading to more satisfying sexual experiences. “A woman has a much better chance of having a satisfying experience,” says Watson, due to the familiarity and understanding developed over time.
8. Dry Spells Are OK From Time to Time It’s normal to experience dry spells in a relationship. Factors like postpartum periods, child-rearing, mourning, visiting in-laws, and busy work schedules can affect sexual frequency. Patience and understanding during these times are crucial.
9. Going With the Flow = Sex Insurance Maintaining a flexible and understanding attitude towards sex can help ensure a healthy sexual relationship. Being open to change and willing to adapt can keep the sexual connection strong.

Understanding these aspects of sexual relationships can help couples navigate the changes that come with long-term commitment, ensuring a healthy and satisfying sex life over the years.