Ah, first dates—they can be exciting for some, while others would rather endure a DMV line forever than face one. But since they’re an inevitable part of dating, it’s important to approach them with the right mindset. If the thought of meeting someone new, making small talk, and gauging compatibility gives you anxiety, here’s a crucial tip from dating coach Evan Marc Katz.

While it’s important to smile, make eye contact, and ask questions, Katz emphasizes the need to let go of any agendas on a first date. He explains, “If you go into the date with an agenda—like figuring out what’s wrong with this person or trying to avoid getting hurt—you’re not going to have any fun, and they likely won’t want to see you again.”

Though it’s fine to date with the intent of finding a relationship, Katz suggests staying present and letting the date unfold naturally. Focusing on enjoying the moment rather than forcing an outcome can lead to a more genuine connection.